Crying in H Mart; Love, food, cultural identity and death — are the main themes of Crying in H Mart.
“Save Your Tears for When Your Mother Dies.”
(Dear Mother, if you’re reading this, please don’t be too reluctant to go to the hospital; do medical check-up, you know for sure it is necessary. You have been dealing with severe headache for a while. I always notice that you look distinctly uncomfortable because of it.)
It is such a disappointment that I’d never heard about this book despite the fact that I’ve been listening to some of Japanese Breakfast’s songs since 2016. In fact, I just found out about it because of the book club that I’d aimed to join. Shoutout to Banquet Book Club, who introduced me to this book. Crying in H Mart was their Book of The Month: July Edition.
When I first saw the title, a question mark popped out on the top of my head. I was thinking, “What is ‘H Mart’?” Why is she crying in H Mart? Is it supposed to be a place where you can just casually cry? Is it supposed to be a happy place?.. or is it the opposite?
A heartbreakingly and beautifully written memoir by Michelle Zauner about many aspects of life.
Love. For a 18-year-old girl who knows nothing about love, I used to get mad and irritated over something ridiculous. For instance, if my significant other doesn’t respond to my text message that says “I love you!” — I would injudiciously think that they don’t love me back. Why can’t they say it back? Is it so hard for them to say it back? Do they really love me?.. Well, this book has opened my mind that everyone has their own way to express their love. Love can be expressed in every kind of way. It can be expressed through physical affection, constant affirmation, gift, poem, or even food. Food was how Michelle Zauner’s mother expressed her love. For someone who finds korean foods enticing, I truly love how Michelle Zauner talked about it in Crying in H Mart, how she explained it, how she depicted that she was so eager to make delicious korean foods, how she and her mother cooked it, and which Youtube video that she watched for the tutorials. I could imagine how spectacular it tasted.
Michelle Zauner described her complicated mother-daughter relationship powerfully, I could feel the pure love radiating while reading it. This book has taught me to cherish every second with someone you love, don’t waste it, don’t take it for granted. Those kind of opportunities rarely come twice.
Reading Chapter 13 made me feel something that I had never felt before. It was absolutely heart-wrenching. I have no idea what it is like to be in Michelle Zauner’s position at the moment because I have never felt the insurmountable sadness that Michelle Zauner has been through in her life yet. However, the way she explained it, it made me feel as if I have felt it before. Death will always be the scariest word for me no matter how many times I have said it, maybe because I am indeed afraid of it. I am terrified of losing someone I love.
Since we’re still in this topic, I want to share my own story when I lost my beloved Grandmother. I remember vaguely when my uncle called me— he told me that my Grandmother was unable to move her body anymore, that she settled into a deep sleep, that she closed her eyes for the rest of her life. All of the memories that I had with my Grandmother suddenly appeared inside my head. How she used to scold and force me to eat something. I have always found it unsettling when someone forces me to eat, it vexes me. I’d just respond to her in such an infuriating tone, “I am not hungry! I will eat if I am hungry, Grandma. But I am not! Maybe later.” Now that I think about it, it must’ve made her heart broke into a million pieces — especially knowing that she cooked it all by herself passionately, hoping that I would get excited and eat it enthusiastically. Cooking was her hobby and food was also how she expressed her love. It’s saddening how I didn’t really get the chance to cherish it while it still lasted… and now it’s only the guilt that lasts forever.
“An essential read for everybody who has lost a loved one, as well as those who haven’t.” — Marie Claire.
Crying in H Mart was the book that got me out of my reading slump and I did not regret reading it at all. I was stunned. There are numerous values in this book. It was a very emotional rollercoaster, everything felt so heavy yet so light at the same time while reading it — maybe because it felt real. Michelle Zauner depicted everything in such a brutal and honest way. She meticulously managed to choose the perfect words to describe everything in this book.
I am no book reviewer, like I said in the title, this is not a book review. This writing just shows how captivated I am by this exceptional book, Crying in H Mart officially becomes one of my favorite books all the time. So please, take your time to read it.
“No matter how much you thought you loved someone, or thought they loved you, you never gave all of yourself. Save 10 percent, always, so there was something to fall back on.”
is my favorite quote from Crying in H Mart.
